Life’s Roads: A Journey of Growth, Change, and Self-Reflection

The other day, I was driving home from work, and for the first time in a long time, I took a different route than my usual one. I went through the city streets I hadn’t traveled on in years. I was reminded of the times during my high school and college days when I worked at a fast-food restaurant. My parents dropped me off at work after school on some days, and on other days, I rode my bike or took the city bus when the weather was bad.

Those memories helped me remember how much life is like – how many years and decades of our lives are characterized by growth, development, and change: by a long and rough series of paths – some chosen, some thrown – that are all good, and sometimes very hard, all pushing us someplace, somewhere, forward.

As it happens, this very practice of reflection is key to personal growth. According to Grant, Franklin, and Langford (2002), regular self-reflection enables people to identify how they have shifted in character, shape clear and relevant goals, and maintain their hope (optimism) about their improvement. Reflection allows people to step back from their lives and appreciate how far they have come.

We indeed change all the time. Sometimes, it’s hard to see ourselves in that light. The days are quick, and the years are faster, and we spend so much time moving from one day to the next that there’s very little space for reflection. Those moments of reflection can be significant – they allow us to see how we’ve changed, even when the changes are so small.

Positive psychology stresses celebrating small accomplishments. Fredrickson (2001) suggests positive emotions are ‘the gateway emotions; they build our capacity to handle adversity and grow our resources.’ Celebrating progress builds gratitude, one of the key factors that build mental health, well-being, and resilience.

I challenge you to go where you were some days, months, or years ago. Did you work at the supermarket? Did you wait for tables, or were you a janitor? Were you a C-level executive, a mother or father, a student, or someone who had been hurt? This is what it is like to be human. Life can be painful; it can be joyful. You might have lost a loved one recently. You might have been divorced, bought a home, or received a promotion. Whatever you went through has shaped you into who you are today.

Whatever these encounters look like, they share the same quality: you are not the same as you were yesterday, last month, or last year. You are different. You have learned something and have history and a broader perspective. When you stop to consider this, even the most dreadful experience you’ve been through can feel like a gift.

So, take a moment to appreciate the small victories, the small gains, and the things that were once difficult because if you stop to notice them, I promise you’ll find that the beauty of life isn’t just in the perfect days; it’s every day. Today is fleeting; tomorrow’s still to come. And regardless of your path, life is growth, and every day is a day further.

A Lesson for Your Road: Life has many twists and turns, each adding texture to who you are becoming. Appreciate every road, twist, and turn. Look back not as a way of lamenting but to observe how far you have come and changed.

Action Step: Spend 10 minutes today reflecting on one time in your life that was particularly hard or transformative. Write three things that have changed since then and how those changes have helped you become who you are now. By reflecting on your past and how you have grown, you will develop a deeper appreciation for the journey.

References:

• Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218-226.

• Grant, A. M., Franklin, J., & Langford, P. (2002). The self-reflection and insight scale: A new measure of private self-consciousness. Social Behavior and Personality: An International Journal, 30(8), 821-835.

• Ketter, D. E. (2024). The Unbreakable Human Spirit of Resilience: A Boy’s Journey from Adversity to Triumph. Legacy Lantern Publishing House.

• Ketter, D. E. (2024). The Extraordinary Within: A 7-Step Guide to Finding the Potential to Achieve the Impossible. Legacy Lantern Publishing House.